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Still trying to figure out the connection between half naked sweaty girls and me staying motivated.

Still trying to figure out the connection between half naked sweaty girls and me staying motivated.

WHAT IF?

WHAT HAVE THESE THINSPO BLOGS DONE TO ME?

Today was a weird day. 

What sucks the most is that I’m really committing this time, more than I have ever committed. Exercising, right amount of calories (no more no less), I’m even avoiding to go out so I don’t eat.

Still, it’s going slower than ever.

It makes me wanna cry. 

It really makes me wonder why I’m even trying at all. It sucks so much to make so many efforts and try to stay motivated when your own body is saying “fuck you, I’m going to stay like this.”

:(

I don’t know why people keep thinking I lost weight when I didn’t. It’s not even “hey, you look thinner”, I actually have people tell me like “Jesus, what happened to you?” and I’m assuming it’s probably because they didn’t see me in a long time and I’ve gained weight and my clothes look tighter I don’t know. The point is that the scale says “Hm, no, nothing new here” and people say “WHAAAT?” so I don’t know what to think because I look pretty much the same to myself (and my clothes) so I’m going to check if maybe, maybe it’s the toning exercises and the cutting off soft drinks that gave me an unbloated/tonned body people are confusing with thinner.

I mean, it’s a better option than tighter clothes. 

I’ve had a good breakfast (whole wheat bread, light turkey ham, cream cheese, coffee, non-fat milk and a tangerine) and a small lunch just now (two boiled eggs and another tangerine) but I feel a little dizzy. It’s about 4 pm, maybe I should eat something else? I don’t know why I feel weak/dizzy, I think a 334 cal intake for this hour is normal. Maybe it’s related to the other days of my eating? Maybe I’m lacking proteins or carbs or something? I’m confused. I think I’ll drink some tea to set my stomach, I don’t know.

I’m going to exercise now and I don’t want to feel sick.